Thoughts to Build On

Since many years, I had a 1993 edition of this fantastic self-help book titled “Thoughts to Build On” by M. R. Kopmeyer which, for reasons unknown, I could never read.

Finally last week, I noticed it when I was clearing my bookshelf and was hooked to it.

Sharing below, the list of ideas that resonated strongly with me in no particular order (“long list but worth it” alert)

The best investment you can make is in “YOU”. All that we are is a result of what we have “thought”. What we will be depends on what and how we think today Always think “first class”. Don’t clutter your mind with second class thoughts. Life isn’t going to give you any more than what you ask for. Live one day at a time. Shut out all yesterdays. Shut out all tomorrows. Then you will have only one day’s problems to conquer. As Alcoholics Anonymous say, “Do not decide to stop drinking forever. Just decide that you will not take a drink today. Not forever. Just one day. Divide and conquer. Your personal guidance system (intuition) cannot correct the direction in which you are moving – if you are not moving. Keep moving. Don’t stop. Don’t hesitate or fear of making an error. Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. Always base your thinking and decisions on exact and provable facts, not opinions. Everything in the world isn’t black and white – in between those two extremes is the blending of ideas and opinions in a vast grey area where men of goodwill can met and talk over their differences until at last the differences blend into one goal. Praise is a wonder drug. William James said, “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” Appreciation is the fuel that drives performance. Success or failure is caused more by mental attitudes than by mental capacities Aggression is always a consequence of frustration. Practice in your imagination. The practice you do in your imagination is perfect way to engage the subconscious mind. Have an important meeting? Practice in your imagination. Have a performance coming up? Practice in your imagination. There is much in a strength in knowing that the darkest day will surely pass. Taking a long view of life makes it easy to bear challenges of life. Life’s little irritations and annoyances can add up to a large amount of unhappiness. Overcome this by being too thick skinned to be bothered by little emotional mosquito bites, by ignoring or forgetting at once all minor annoyances as they come. To be effective, you must be selective in choosing the responsibilities you will accept. All of us wear big, invisible signs across our chests reading: “I want to be important. I want to be admired. I want to be appreciated.” If you know this, you will be able to deal with almost all kinds of people. Count your blessings with such mental and emotional emphasis that your personality becomes radiant with the sheer joy  of being alive. Develop the gratitude muscle. To Deescalate hate: Know that being different and opposite does not always, and need not ever, cause hate. Seek, recognize and emphasize similarities. Tolerate differences. In most cases – all avoidable – we initiate our own troubles by two actions: Unnecessary involvement, or much worse, over-involvement, and Unnecessary reaction or, much worse, over-reaction. Invest in creating your memory bank. Go to interesting, unusual, memorable places. Do interesting things. Meet and talk with interesting and memorable people. All of us direct our own lives by the choices. How careful we must be in choosing our roads, because some day we shall look back on all choices and say,  “THAT has made all the difference.” Nothing in the world will take place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are omnipotent. The slogan “Press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of human race. Go to them: Find out where another’s attention is and go there with your own conversation Find out where another’s interest is and go there with your own interest, making your interest one with theirs. Find out where another’s beliefs are and go there with your own beliefs. To be a GO GETTER, you must first adopt as your life plan, to be a GO-GIVER. Generosity is at the heart of living a good life. “The clock of life is wound but once,
And no one has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop,
At late or early hour.

NOW is the only time you own
Love, live, toil with a will;
Place no faith in tomorrow, for
The clock may then be still.” Be prepared for inevitability  – Be neither overwhelmed nor surprised by misfortune, we shall respond as we have prepared to do, with calm acceptance and serenity. Don’t TALK your way to success, ASK your way through it. As others to give you information you need to succeed. Ask others to do what you want them to do to help you succeed. As others what they need from you in order to succeed. Participation is the antidote of withdrawal and mental depression. Talk is a means to participate, engage and stay healthy. When in doubt, talk it out. Listen with intent to understand and recognize, not with an intent to respond or react. When it gets darkest, the stars come out. DO the thing and you will have power. Start now – without hesitation or fear, because power to do, comes with the doing, and as you do the thing, you will have the power. Laughter is your declaration of superiority over whatever befalls you. Habits begin as cobwebs and end as cables, and when they get to the “cable” stage, habits are not easily broken. Try to escape, and your problems follow you everywhere. Grapple with it and solve it, and then it is gone forever. Struggle makes us stronger and gives us wings. Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Attention is our scarcest resource. Loneliness is when you don’t enjoy your own company. Meditation and contemplation turns loneliness into a positive and empowering space we call solitude. When you like being with you, you will never be lonely. The world belongs to those who find out. Show me the person who can find out what the trouble is and how to fix it and I will show you a person who is destined to succeed. We need people who can get things done, who can find out what needs to be done and the best way to do it. When you face life challenges, you need to ADMIT what happened, ACCEPT it to move beyond the situation, ADAPT to the new reality and ACT your way out of it. Live in rhythm of your inner pace. If you do not normally maintain an inner calm, it is a warning that you are going too fast – when we don’t align our pace, we fall prey to burn out. You can control your feeling by acting the way you want to feel. If you want to feel happier, smile. Even if you don’t have a reason to smile, smile.. anyhow. First you try hard.. and then you try harder than that.. and you try harder than that.. then try harder than that.. and so you pyramid your efforts and pyramid your gains. Drawing the goodwill of others toward you is the result of your giving others a bonus, of your giving them something extra which is neither required or expected but which you give freely, willingly, graciously. And it must be clear that you expect nothing in return but their goodwill. Meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two impostors just the same. There can be no successful outcome without belief. Belief is the foundation of behaviours. Behaviour is the foundation of accomplishment. Bad temper is worse than bad fortune. More than half of the world’s problems would be allayed or removed by exhibition of good temper. Make progress.. or stand aside. The world makes way for those who make progress. Progress, however small, motivates forward movement and builds momentum. Nothing splendid was ever achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance. Two goldfish swam in their crystal clear bowl. Finally, one goldfish in exasperation concluded the argument with this pertinent question, “So.. if there isn’t a God, who changes the water?” If people would only realize that PRESSURE creates RESISTANCE, how much more pleasantly, justly and successfully, differences could be resolved. If you accept your burdens with the attitude of progressing forward, with a song on your lips, or at least in your heart, then your burdens become, by some miracle of nature, much lighter… so much lighter that they may spiritually lift you up.

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