Life in lockdown

Lockdown is a phrase we have all become accustomed to, but one which I never thought I would become acquainted with. 

At the moment of writing this I am in the midst of a 14 day isolation period where I am unable to step outside of the boundaries of my home. It just so happens that my home consists of a bedroom at this stage in my life. I must admit prior to this, the thought of being in isolation was one which I thought I wouldn't be able to cope with. A life without physical contact, fresh air and freedom...But the brain is a magnificent organ that can either make or break you. It's not necessarily a matter of changing your mindset because that's not always possible, but it's adapting your brain's capacity in the circumstances you find yourself in, as well as your life as you know it. I've gone from exercising outside and in a gym to doing home workouts and finding other ways to entertain myself than through other people. 

It has made me realise that I am on my own, but only in physicality. I can be at one with myself and rely on myself to get through each day. I would always fill every single minute of my day with seeing people or doing something productive and now, I have to turn that on its head and do the exact opposite and I'm ok. It's not necessarily what I want to do, but I certainly haven't died like I thought I would have. There are extremely wobbly moments and have been where I have felt on the brink of insanity as well as feeling like I am a hamster trapped in a cage, but I know this is only for a short period of time and by understanding my coping mechanisms, I can find find ways through it.

It's not necessarily normal for the human body to be put through these situations, as we too often know that it can lead to insanity and it is no surprise that mental illness has increased amongst the lockdown. I too know with my mental health diagnosis' that my brain can become overwhelming to the point I no longer feel that I can be rational about my actions, however I am trying to utilise my brain in such a way that I try to become accustomed to this way of life. It's important to remain in contact with friends and family, counsellors and charities to keep you grounded and stick to a routine.

Amongst everything, the isolation has taught me that I can handle being by myself and I can rely on myself. I don't need to rely on another, but it is also not a negative to do so. I won't end up dying by losing my mind and my mind is a lot stronger than the panic thought it was. I am taking this time as an opportunity to gain knowledge about myself and rest; something that I would never get to do in any other circumstances that would be presented to me in the ordinary way of life. This situation won't last forever and there is nothing that I can do to change it, so there is no point in wasting my energy, wishing my life was different. It's okay to feel a range of emotions and let them flow through you, but try not to let them become overwhelming and if they do, reach out. It won't be as bad as you think.