Have you ever wished to borrow Dorothy�s ruby slippers to just take you home on command?� We did, a month ago, when confined to rehab for an expected twenty-one days.� But Dorothy�s slippers reside at the Smithsonian, and not...
Have you ever wished to borrow Dorothy�s ruby slippers to just take you home on command?� We did, a month ago, when confined to rehab for an expected twenty-one days.� But Dorothy�s slippers reside at the Smithsonian, and not in Durham, North Carolina, so no clicking of heels for me.� We considered a dramatic breakout using Kim�s new red Chevy truck but after a week we chose our moment of freedom and snuck out to the parking lot and into our minivan, still salt- and sand-coated from its latest sailing trip to to Lake Jordan with teens, dog and Cool Ranch Doritos.
At home, time to unpack.� First, the items always at reach on my bedside table were redistributed on the rolling table next to my window-view hospital bed.� From this lovely perch, I look over the Key West coffee cup, writing pad, and Kleenex box and into the backyard with its flowers, swaying trees, and two wandering cats. Birds chirp their morning symphony.� The neighborhood�s expanding supply of young children add their delightful squeals and giggles in early afternoon.
The less pleasant side of unpacking at home involves my abscess wound.� When a wound is deep, packing the wound with cloth strips can help it heal. The packing strips absorb drainage from the wound, which helps the tissues heal from the inside out.� Enough about that � it is healing well.
Then there is emotional packing and unpacking, which have long been a part of this journey. So-called �negative emotions,� including grief and loss, fit my predicament and deserve time, but I will not dwell there, and I will not let a negative tone dominate my interaction with others.� In conversations that included as many laughs as tears, the Brain Tumor Center�s neuropsychologist, Dr. Renee Raynor, taught me that I can pack up each of these emotions and put them on a shelf in my mind where they will be available when I need them. Then I can unpack each as needed, spend time there, and pack up again.
Sometimes, Dr. Raynor advised, the emotions choose their own timing. �Expect an occasional game of �whack-a-mole,�� she said. �You won�t know which is popping up next, yet you�ll still have the power to choose where you invest your attention, and when to pack them back up and store them on that shelf.�
Sometimes a mole pops-up as Dr. Raynor predicted, and sure enough, I can choose whether to unpack and be with that emotion or whack it right back into hibernation on the spot. Occasionally, in a tired afternoon moment, I realize I have time � and emotional strength � and choose some deserving topic from that shelf to ponder. Careful not to cry myself into a headache, I find these sessions honest, moving, real and therapeutic. I am�in control. I can control when to experience each emotion.
Let�s pack up that subject.� I�m home, and there�s no place like home.
