Productive conversations between educators and families can be transformative for students. What does "really listening" look like when calling home? The post Really Listen appeared first on .
Educators recognize that strong communication between school and home is essential for student success. At the start of each school year, one of the most common goals teachers and administrators set is to make more parent phone calls. But sometimes, those conversations fall short. Instead of focusing on how many calls we make, perhaps our real goal should be to improve the quality of those conversations.
A Lesson from Patch Adams
This video contains graphic language
In this scene, Patch Adams (Robin Williams) admits himself to a hospital to work through his emotional struggles. He becomes frustrated because his doctor doesn’t seem to listen or care about what he is experiencing.
Later, after helping his roommate through a difficult night, Patch returns with a newfound purpose. He tells his doctor, “I want to listen. I want to really listen to people.”
The contrast is powerful: when Patch wasn’t listened to, he felt invisible. But when he truly listened to someone else, he discovered the transformative power of human connection.
What This Means for Educators
In teacher interviews, a popular question is: “How do you communicate with parents?” A frequent response is: “I like to call home—not just for concerns, but also to share positives.”
This is a solid answer and often exactly what administrators hope to hear. Celebrating students with families is important. But there’s still something missing.
We all know there will be times when we must make difficult phone calls about academic struggles or behavioral concerns. Too often, those conversations follow a predictable script:
- Start with a compliment: “I really enjoy having Johnny in class.”
- Share the concern: “Unfortunately, he hasn’t participated in the activity and didn’t turn in his project.”
- Request parent support: “If you could encourage him at home, that would be wonderful.”
This approach isn’t wrong—but it’s incomplete. It’s not a two-way conversation. Instead, it’s a report followed by instructions. If it truly takes a village to raise a child, then we need to involve parents in a deeper way. That begins with asking the right questions—and really listening to the answers.
Questions That Invite Partnership
After explaining a concern, try asking questions like:
- What do you think?
- What questions do you have about this incident?
- What motivates him at home?
- What strategies have been successful in the past?
- What are his interests and hobbies?
- What does he say about school?
- What does he enjoy most about school?
- What can I do to better support him at school?
- Would you like additional resources to use at home?
These kinds of questions do two things:
- Provide insight that can lead to real solutions.
- Show parents that we are partners, on the same team.
Moving Beyond the Script
No one is suggesting teachers act like the detached doctors from Patch Adams. But it’s true that sometimes we rush to get through tough phone calls, sticking to a script so the discomfort will pass quickly. The problem is, by doing so, we miss opportunities to connect, collaborate, and truly understand our students through their families’ perspectives.
When we pause, ask, and really listen, we strengthen the parent–teacher relationship, gain valuable insight, and—most importantly—help students succeed.
As Patch reminds us, let’s do our best not to “suck at it.” Instead, let’s embrace the power of listening.
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