KQED Science high school teacher Furahi Achebe remembers getting a phone call from a former student whom she hadn’t heard from in six months. He told her that doctors found a heart defect; he’d just woken up after life-saving surgery, and he wanted to let her know that he’s doing ok.
This call left her wondering why that student reached out to her.
“Why would a student think that I am important enough to be on his list to be one of the people that he contacts after a life-saving operation?” Achebe said, recalling how shocked she was.
For Achebe, a former chemist who has taught science and digital production to high school students for 12 years in New Haven, Connecticut, moments like the phone call are a reminder of how she’s been able to build lasting connections with students. Achebe recounted the story during the 2026 International Society for Technology in Education conference, held at the end of June, during a workshop titled, “Why asking students ‘How Are You?’ wastes a reachable moment.”
In the workshop, she argues that the question “How are you?” is no longer sufficient for interactions between students and teachers. Some experts say the phrase has become a “reflexive greeting” during a casual interaction, but one that doesn’t really make way for deeper conversation.
“I believe that when you ask a person ‘How are you?’ they feel a little bit rushed to say fine or okay and move on,” says Achebe. “They don’t actually believe – unless you append something to the beginning or the end – that you’re asking how they really are.”
Instead, Achebe says teachers must strive for reachable moments with students, which can then turn into powerful teachable moments.
“A reachable moment is when a student and an educator of any sort are looking at each other eye to eye and having a casual conversation,” says Achebe. “Those moments empower our teachable moments because they create the relationship that drives education.”
Creating true connections is more critical than ever as more studies have found a decrease in youth well-being in recent years. The World Health Organization Commission on Social Connection released a report in 2025 saying one in six people worldwide are affected by loneliness, with the highest percentage (20%) among 13- to 17-year-olds.
Additionally, with some schools implementing cell phone bans, school hours may be the longest stretch of time when some young people are forced to reconnect with their peers and adults without the distraction of personal devices. Achebe encourages teachers to take that opportunity to reteach students how to communicate with others.
Connection starts at the beginning of the year.
Achebe suggests creating a Google Form at the start of the school year for students to fill out. She says the form should include the usual questions about nicknames or pronouns, but the form should also try to dig into who the students are and what they value.
Suggested questions include:
- What brings you joy?
- What do you think is unique about you?
- Who is it that is always in your corner?
Teachers can quickly put responses into a spreadsheet or chart, which can then be printed out to be carried around the rest of the year or referred to when walking around the classroom throughout the year.
Rather than making the first day of school about reciting rules and expectations, Achebe suggests thinking of it more as a time to get to know students.
“I think the first day is about getting to know each other, and really deeply expressing who you are,” Achebe says. Achebe refers to these questions as “endorphin-flowing” questions, because it “builds rapport” and allows individuals to feel good about themselves.
Similar questions include:
- What are you most grateful for in life?
- Name or describe your top three strengths.
- What do you wish more people knew about you?
- Which accomplishment are you most proud of?
How to keep reachable moments going with debate questions.
Achebe says at the root of it all, students, just like adults, like to feel seen. So connection needs to happen throughout the year. And the questions that teachers ask don’t always have to be deep.
Teachers can watch for specific moments in the classroom — when energy may be falling off — and take the time to ask students more trivial questions or encourage them to dive into debates with each other.
These questions don’t have a right answer, but while low-stakes, they could give a picture of what a student believes and how they think.
- Which do you prefer, Pepsi or Coke?
- Are you Apple or Android?
- Would you rather never stop dancing or never be able to stop singing?
“That is rapport building time, that’s connection building time,” Achebe says.
Choice, feedback and reminders throughout the year.
Finally, building connection isn’t just about questions; it’s also allowing a flow of opinions between student and teacher.
One of the ways Achebe reminds herself of this ongoing process is through digital signage and messaging throughout her classroom. Achebe is the founder of a company that creates free screensavers that teachers can re-use and download.
Achebe also tries to leave as much room as possible in her classroom for genuine feedback and student choice in assignments. This might mean allowing them to pick which assignment or project to tackle first, giving them choice in topics or how a lab gets done.
She asks students: Was the quiz too hard? Did the reading make sense? Are the instructions clear? These types of choices and questions signal to students that their opinions and perspectives matter.
“[Relationships are] central to what you can get out of a student,” Achebe says. “The most effective way to reach them is to satisfy the human need to be seen, heard and understood.”
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