Celebrate in a way that feels good instead of exhausting.

Our collective appetite for ‘more and bigger’ has been growing for years – food, cars, jewelry, houses, vacations, portions, celebrations. The pandemic put a temporary hold on the largess, and we took little rewards and treats where we could find them since so much of our lives were on hold and restrictions were everywhere.  We had small ‘Covid’ weddings and suspended almost all other celebrations unless they could be outside, and then they were downsized. Living high on the hog is not a bad thing, but there is a school of thought that in some circumstances, multiple little treats instead one huge one, bring more enjoyable over a longer period.

Instead of holding out for the milestone bash, consider marking the everyday moments — starting with your own birthday.  There have been a rash of articles over the past five years about what The Guardian calls Birthdayzillas.  Those are the adults who turn their birthdays into epic events, as if turning 42 should become a national holiday.  Adult birthday bashes began to outstrip lavish weddings both in money spent and in the time and effort put into the planning.  These articles suggest that epic events seem to be declining in number, and even the divas among us are choosing much smaller ‘treat’ kind of celebrations.  One writer, Bettina Makalintal, described taking the week of her birthday to “seek out the delicious things I love” with or without other friends.

Bruno Mars at Kris Kardashian’s 70^th birthday party

Adult birthday parties are a recent phenomenon.  Social media hype about Kris Jenner’s birthday party with Bruno Mars providing the music, and commercial venues’ promotions of showy celebrations have helped increase the popularity of big blowouts.

An example of smaller treats would be dinner for four at the Birthdayzilla’s favorite restaurant, or a visit to their favorite public garden or museum, with one or two friends.  Gretchen Rubin, who writes about happiness said that “Moderation is what keeps treats feeling healthy and special.”

The best celebrations are often the smallest ones.  There’s something satisfying about celebrating in a way that feels good instead of exhausting.  A small treat removes the pressure and lets you stay present.  Smaller celebrations are easier to share.  If you are the celebrant, planning tea with a friend you don’t see enough of is simple and delightful.  If you are the close friend, finding something special to do for your friend is uncomplicated and easy to carry out. These small treats may not get posted on social media, but they have a way of sticking with you. Choosing intimate gatherings over a big blowout party (which can be an ordeal) can be rewarding. A small treat removes the pressure and lets you stay present. You’re not managing an event; you’re enjoying a moment.

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