I miss my blog

Unreasonably rational · 4 years ago · 83 views

 Well, 4+ years later, and I still have the OCD/Anxiety/Depression combo. I take more psych meds than ever. I've been hospitalized twice, tried TMS, and been enrolled in two Intensive Outpatient Programs, one of which made me slightly in favor of DBT and the second, which turned me off, even though that was mostly due to one person mishandling a situation. I'm currently attending the online International OCD Foundation conference. I did in 2020, too. I don't know if I'm more agitated now, or more aware of my agitation. I like to color while listening to presentations, or even organize my house - I don't like that so much as I tend to like the results. I am a dedicated fidget-er. My Executive Function is more obviously an issue to me now. I did start a medication a couple months before I noticed it more, but the sleep doctor who prescribed it brushed off my concerns, saying people like to take it to help them study. Maybe sleep doctors aren't as aware as the psychiatric world that meds that can give one effect can also give the opposite. But due to the risks of change and the benefit I do receive, I remain on this medication. I've moved from guinea pigs to a cat. She is an adorable stinker-butt. She turned out to be maybe five years older than I thought when adopting her, so suddenly, she has reached old age. She is no longer over weight and might be under weight, but she is such a stinker about food! As in, she just doesn't eat a whole lot, but she still eats some. In this strange world of online videos, I think blogs have taken a back seat. But I just don't like the thought of having my face out on videos. So just maybe, I'll start blogging again. This way, I can pretend that someone reads this, whether they do or not. It feels less lonely than journaling.