Music is the language of us all. It is the Great Mood Bringer, the Atmosphere Creator, the Immortal Setter of Tones. It’s what makes us cry at the start of Up, and at the end of Forrest Gump. It gives you the power to bring every guest to their feet, or have them sobbing in the aisle. And when you’re crafting your wedding day ‘experience’, it’s the most powerful tool at your disposal - more than the speeches, styling, and stationery combined.
Music is the language of us all. It is the Great Mood Bringer, the Atmosphere Creator, the Immortal Setter of Tones. It’s what makes us cry at the start of Up, and at the end of Forrest Gump. It gives you the power to bring every guest to their feet, or have them sobbing in the aisle. And when you’re crafting your wedding day ‘experience’, it’s the most powerful tool at your disposal – more than the speeches, styling, and stationery combined.
And you know what else? Every song you choose will be forever changed. Filled with memories of your wedding morning, or your walk down the aisle. Of that time you danced with your grandad, or laughed with your friends. This isn’t just background music. It’s everything.
So, choose wisely, and choose well. Here’s how to find the perfect wedding music for you, and subtly guide the energy through every aspect of your day.
Start Off with a Banger
For me, the wedding morning is the perfect time for nostalgic bangers. Blink, Blur, Sum 41, Spice Girls, and Shania. The fucking Ketchup Song! (Maybe I need to get out more?!) Make a playlist of every song you loved growing up. Get some drinks in, and spend the morning chatting shit with all your lifelong ride-or-dies. You have memories with these people – use music to stir them up.
But hey, that’s just me. Maybe you’d prefer to start the day a little slower? Maybe you’re getting ready together at home, and you want a playlist of ‘your’ songs? Imagine how you want this part of your day to feel – the experience you want, the kind of memories you want to make. And then use music to bring the vibe.
Set the Scene
Every wedding is different, and your guests won’t know what to expect, what energy to bring, or how to behave. Your pre-ceremony music is their first clue.
String quartet? A day of sensible romance, and a nice early bedtime.
Pendulum? Message your guy, and tell your boss you might be coming down with something.
But you don’t want to peak too soon. This is the pilot, not the finale. Remember this music will lead straight into your walk down the aisle. So don’t go in with hyped-up tracks if your aisle song is slow. You want to guide them through the river, not drop them off a cliff.
Your Processional Song
You will remember this song forever. So, find something that gives you goosebumps, something you’ll always love. If there’s lyrics, make sure they mirror the moment (The Thong Song is a tune, but…well, y’know). Or maybe you want to really make an entrance?! I’ve seen a couple literally dance down the aisle before. That fun, excited, happy tone then flowed through the whole ceremony. Again, imagine how you want this part of the day to feel, how you want to remember it, and then find the perfect song to carry you into that moment.
Avoid the Sound of Silence
There’ll be about 5-10 minutes of ‘dead air’ while you sign the register, so you’ll need 2-3 songs to fill the gap. My friend asked me to write a song for his. If you have a friend who’s musical, it’s a big ask, but I’m sure they’d be honoured.
Or you could have a ceremony singalong! Churches have hymns; you could have The Beatles. If you are going to do this, choose a song that everyone knows. Print the lyrics, and ask the confident members of your wedding party to lead it. Keep it fun, and don’t go for some crazy-long song or people will get bored.
You’ll also need the perfect ‘exit song’ to catapult you and your guests into the next part of the day. If you walk out to something slow, it’ll continue that intimate, romantic vibe. Run back up the aisle to something upbeat, and everyone will leave the ceremony in a party mood.
Control the Tempo
Did you know…supermarket playlists are filled with happy, familiar songs. Why? Because comfortable people spend more money. And when it’s closing time, they’ll play faster tracks to make you get a move on. My point is, even if you’re not actively listening to it, music has a subliminal effect on your mood. So, think about how you want your wedding ‘experience’ to ebb and flow, and create different playlists for different parts of the day.
Your drinks reception is your chance for you to mingle, chat, and catch up. Think Fleetwood Mac, not Pitbull. If you’ve had live music during your ceremony, you could have that during your drinks reception as well to continue the atmosphere. It’s up to you how you want to play it, but remember it’s a long day, and people will crash out early if the whole day is full-on.
Make an Entrance
Rocky had Eye of the Tiger; Tyson had 2Pac. What’s yours gonna be?
You could enter your reception to loving applause, or bound in to napkins waving, and people banging on the table. You could do a mock “I’m looking for a guy in finance” ‘bit’ (sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little there). Anyway, your reception ‘entrance’ is a big moment, but it’s not a super-serious one. So, have fun with it, run into the room, and bring that “fuck yeah!” energy with you.
Again, create a well-chosen playlist for when everyone’s eating. Maybe you want people dancing on the tables, and singing in-between mouthfuls. Maybe you want your dinner to be a low-key chill. Use music as a mood ‘paintbrush’, and subtly build up to that grand finale.
Your First Dance
Like your processional song, your first dance is one that will stay with you forever. So, choose a song that means something to you that will always mean something to you. If it’s ‘your’ song, you’ll never stop loving it.
If nothing immediately springs to mind, go for something that’s already stood the test of time. That Swiftie song might be trending now, but will you still *love* it in thirty years? Oh, and keep it short. Four minutes is an eternity when you’re ‘Year 9 Disco’ dancing in front of a hundred people. Ask everyone to join you on the dance floor towards the end of the song, and when your first dance is over, choose an epic banger to keep them on it.
They’ll be looking at you to set the tone for the evening. So, stay on the dance floor for as long as possible, and kick the party off the right way.
Bring it Home
Fun fact: the evening party is how your wedding day will be remembered. The time for playlists has passed; find a DJ or a live band who’ll bring this shit home. Personal recommendations are your best friend here. Anyone can make a decent-looking demo video but you don’t know what kind of energy they’ll bring unless you’ve seen them perform in person.
So how will you know if they’re ‘The One’? Oh, you’ll know. Think back to the best nights of your lives. The parties you always talk about, those nights-out that passed into legend. Think about how you want your wedding to be remembered, and then find *the perfect* performer(s) who can give it to you. Once you’ve found them, throw yourselves all in. Sing shamelessly to ABBA, jump-dance to Mr Brightside, do the caterpillar to The Clash. Go release your inhibitions and go absolutely fucking crazy.
If music be the food of love, play on.
