Pushing Thru

This is Peanut Butter Brickle. I’ve known many persons in my life. And I’ve loved many persons.

The persons that recognized who I was…beyond being a dog…are truly in my heart. I also love the persons who recognized my handsome from my early days.

Even if I don’t see them anymore, I remember these persons. Even if they have been gone for a long time.

Today, I’m remembering my Granny and Pappy. Granny passed away on December 18 a few years ago.

And Pappy passed away on December 19 a few years before that. It seems like yesterday that they were scolding me while laughing when I was doing puppy things.

It seems like yesterday that I visited them at their house and in nursing homes and in the hospital places with Girl Person.

That was one of my first jobs over 14 years ago. And I was very good at it. I still remember the older persons yelling “tiger” when I walked by.

I still remember watching the news with Granny and Digby while we ate peanuts. I still remember the conversations. I remember it all.

And I remember their dog Cuddles. We all were beyond family. We were friends.

And so I guess that’s why Girl Person is having a hard time right now. On top of other problems weighing on her mind, she also misses them like I miss them.

And so, sometimes you gotta just push thru. You have to channel your inner strength. You’ve got it.

You can’t change something. So you have to just deal with it, don’t you?! There is no choice in the matter.

Positive attitudes are wonderful to have. And I know one day I will see them again. I know that.

But right now, it hurts. Right now, there are a lot of things not right with Girl Person’s depression monster. And problems with that Italy place. And other stuff. But we all have other stuff. You have other stuff too. And it’s not our job to weigh you down with our problems. It’s our job to tell you that you aren’t alone. And if you’re pushing thru today or some days, we know how you feel.

This time of year is hard for many because we are expected to be happy or joyful.

But when you feel like you’re alone and you’re the only one who feels a certain way, you feel guilt. And I dont want that today. I want to remember Granny and Pappy in the good and funny ways.

But I’ll also tell myself I have reason to be sad for missing them.

Pushing thru is sometimes all you can do. And that’s enough. That’s more than enough. Your feelings are valid and seen. And for the ones we have loved and lost, it’s ok to miss them.

But it’s not ok to stop living yourself.

So for Pappy today, I’ll remember the orange grove.

And how he told me to sit still during American Idol.

I’ll remember Granny for making me and Digby fried chicken. Ok. She didn’t make it for us. We stole it off the counter. But that’s not the point.

Push thru today with us. And maybe push a drumstick my way.

–Peanut Butter Brickle