Going to Walmart, Be Back Soon…Total Oxymoron!

This past weekend I grabbed my car keys and my purse, kissed my husband goodbye and said “I’m running to Walmart to pick up a few things. I won’t be gone long.” The look on his face said it all, he knows what happens when I shop. After all, he’s been there, he’s made the dreaded trip to the store with me many times.

When I finally arrived back home 2 1/2 hours later, his eyes said “I told you so” and his lips jokingly said, “your face looks familiar”.  So I tried to explain why my trip was, well, like all of my trips.

I wanted to buy new toothbrushes for us, but I couldn’t decide if we needed the ones with the tongue and cheek cleaner or the ones with flexing sides that can improve your oral health in 2 weeks, or possibly the ones that remove up to 99% of plaque in hard-to-reach areas or the ones with cross action bristles that promise to do everything.

Then I had to check the clearance aisle because I always check the clearance aisle; after all, I don’t want to miss the deal of a lifetime. I found a really nice bakeware set but after closer inspection realized that even though they were abiding on the clearance aisle, the price wasn’t reduced at all so I decided to return them to the so-called clearance aisle.

Next, I had headed for the food section when I remembered I needed a birthday card.  But five were way too mushy, two were too mean, one was too sexy, one was just, well stupid, and finally I found the one acceptable birthday card in the entire aisle.

So my cross store journey to the food section began again only to be brought to a halt as I wandered past the craft section because I remembered I needed mod podge for a project I have in mind. But I’ve never used mod podge and who knew there could possibly be 17 varieties!

From there, I had the food section in sight. Cart positioned for a straight path to the frozen foods when smack dab in the middle of the aisle sat a display of kids art supplies. My memory was instantly triggered by the sight; we need more paintbrushes. Which then brought me to, you guessed it, another halt.  After all, how long could this take?

To try to explain all of these diversions to a man that has tunnel vision and blinders on every time he goes to the store isn’t worth the effort.  He knows what he’s going to the store for, heads straight to it, pays for it and he’s out the door.

At times I wish I had a little of his tunnel vision. Other times, I’m happy with turning every trip to Walmart or Target into an adventure laden with what could only be described as life-changing finds!

How do your trips to Target or Walmart go?

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