Inspired by the Netflix series One Day, I’m recording the events of my day on the 15th of […]
Inspired by the Netflix series One Day, I’m recording the events of my day on the 15th of every month. Here (belatedly) is my entry for December 15th, 2024.
December is always a hectic month. This year, it should be reasonably relaxed, as I’m just starting three weeks off work. The reality, however, is somewhat different.
My mother is 87 years old and a type 2 diabetic (as am I). Over the past year, and in particular over the past 4-5 months, her health has faded obviously and significantly. She has been hospitalised three times since September – or is it four? I’ve lost count – with a range of diabetes and related cardio-vascular issues. Sometimes she seems barely aware of her surroundings. She’s always tired, and sleeps fitfully round the clock.
Today was a ‘hospital day’. I’ve been taking the kids one at a time to see her. And, in fairness, it was one of her better days: she was alert, could more or less keep up a conversation, even went for a short walk up and down the corridor.
Even so, it’s horrible to see someone you love go through this, especially someone who has always been a hustler and bustler. Until a year or so ago, my parents would take daily 30-minute walks together. That’s now consigned to the past; 30 metres is about her limit. You start using phrases such as “quality of life” and “let’s make the most of the time we have”. My mother is one of life’s battlers. She could go on for a few years yet, but that seems increasingly unlikely. Some weeks are better than others, but it’s clear she will never recover her former health.
Her latest hospital stay has now reached 11 days, her longest yet. We had already made plans to do our big family Christmas differently this year, as she’s not really in a condition to travel comfortably. The prospect of her still being in hospital on Christmas Day looms larger with every passing day.
We hope for the best and try to stay positive. What else can we do?
Watching an elderly relative entering the last stages of their life, you can’t help but reflect that this will one day happen to all of us. It hits doubly hard for me as a fellow diabetic, one who was diagnosed 13 years younger than my mum. Watching her deteriorate physically and mentally lands doubly hard with me. Sure, the effects of old age impact everyone in their final years. And there’s just as much chance of me suddenly dropping dead of a heart attack at 60. (Diabetics are a high-risk group for cardio-vascular events.) But it still feels like a window into my future, and sets off conversations about how I would like to be treated should my health start to fail in a similar way. Which is fun, and guaranteed to dampen even the most festive of moods.
So, yeah, I’m not feeling relaxed at all at the moment. Nor do I feel particularly Christmassy. It is what it is. But it’s hard to ignore the metaphorical clock ticking its way down, even if I have no idea when ‘zero’ actually is.
Bah humbug.
Previous ‘One Day’ project posts
