Dear Spinal Cord Injury

13 – 04 – 1998

Dear Spinal Cord Injury

Twenty-six years ago you hijacked my beautiful active body and took over my perfect life.

Before you, life was good. I was happy and I was loved.

I was loved by a handsome husband and my beautiful baby boy.

I was loved by my own family and an extended family of in-laws.

I was loved by my teaching colleagues and a class full of 8-year-olds.

What more could a woman want?

But then you came along and ruined it all.

I hate you because you took away all of the above and changed everything in an instant.

I hate you because you stripped me of my privacy, independence and dignity.

I hate you because you changed the lives of all those close to me.

I hate you because my life revolves around you and is constantly ruled by pees and poos.

I hate you because you cost me a fortune and leave little left for comforts, fun and treats.

I hate you because you make my everyday life so hard – physically, emotionally and financially.

I hate you because I’m different and society see me as weak and vulnerable.

I hate you because you keep me from going places and deny me a normal life.

I hate you because you mess with my mind and make me fight every day to stay positive.

I hate you because this dragon can never be slayed and is sometimes impossible to ride.

I hate you because… The list is endless.

For my own sanity, I try to love you…

I love you for the time with my boy, Chad Ross Todd.

I love you for bringing me real unconditional love and marriage to my Sexy Legs.

I love you for growing my faith through all my special Earth Angels in our community.

I love you for proving how brave, strong and resilient I can be.

I love you for turning my life into an inspiring story which led me to proudly publishing a book.

I love you for bringing special people into my life including Tebello.

I love you for all the life lessons – harsh yet valuable.

I love you for showing me empathy and compassion, enabling me to help others.

I love you for keeping me humble and grateful.

I love you for making me appear calm and serene even though I’m not.

I love you for… Blah blah blah!

No, Spinal Cord injury… Fuck You!

I still, and forever will, hate you.

I wish I could climb up onto the roof tops and shout it out LOUD.

But here’s a big fat middle finger (I can’t move) anyway.

Sincerely,

Your Slave.

**Disclaimer**

I detest swearing on public platforms. I tried to find another word but there isn’t one. Please forgive me. Maybe, just this once, you will shout it out loud with me. Or, at the very least, jab that middle finger high up into the air – just for me.