Attacked by a Bear

2 years ago 55

ADHD & Marriage News - December 15, 2023 Quote of the Week �Imagine you were attacked by a bear (and survived).� Your body would involuntarily go into a state of vigilance (that would make it harder to focus on...

ADHD & Marriage News - December 15, 2023

Quote of the Week

�Imagine you were attacked by a bear (and survived).� Your body would involuntarily go into a state of vigilance (that would make it harder to focus on other things). Now, imagine you were attacked by a bear again.� You would likely go into a state called hyper-vigilance.� Hyper-vigilance is where you really struggle for focus because so much of your brain is scanning for risk."

- Johann Hari, �Stolen Focus�

Attacked by a Bear

Most people with ADHD I have encountered are hyper-vigilant.� As kids they may have been bullied, told they were lazy or bad, struggled with things that seem easy to others.� They may have had an alcoholic parent, or a chronically distracted parent unable to help them feel fully loved.� They may have been smart but unable to focus academically.� Kids with ADHD are often the victims of criticism, anger and heartbreak.� And, yes, they struggle to focus.

The resulting hyper-vigilance (or hyper-arousal) results in being easily overwhelmed by emotion.� If every little thing seems as if it might be a threat, and your brain creates lots of emotions (as ADHD brains do), it�s easy for the emotions to take over.� Fast.

It would be easy to suggest that partners of those with ADHD should make it their job to create a �safe� environment to calm ADHD hyper-vigilance.� But that would be too simplistic and does not get at the fact that not only is hyper-vigilance about input, but also that hyper-vigilance comes from inside, and is caused by trauma.�

Until you can start to heal that trauma, it�s hard to address the triggering.� One of the best ways to deal with trauma is EMDR therapy, as well as EFT.� But even if those modes of therapy aren�t available, a professional that can help you explore the emotional injuries that you carry around can be a big help.

Would you consider therapy to heal your inner trauma?�

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EVENTS:

?� For those who celebrate, I wish you a peaceful and loving Hanukkah.

?��Non ADHD Partner Support Group�- Registration is open. Five of the ten groups are full. Develop strategies for finding�satisfaction and happiness.

Resources For those in relationships impacted by ADHD

SEMINARS, GROUPS:

ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar�- Is your relationship in trouble?�My highly acclaimed 9-session Zoom seminar�has helped many couples thrive in�healthier, happier relationships. Registration open for seminar starting February 2024.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group�(registration open) and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group�(now full)-�Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles�and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

New:�ADHD & Marriage Professional Training Program�- an integrated team of experts�dedicated to supporting the needs of couples and adults impacted by ADHD.��

FREE RESOURCES:

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD;�

Downloadable chapters of my books;

A�community forum with other couples facing similar issues;

A�large number of blog posts on various topics;

Referrals

Social Media:�-�follow us for tips and resources

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