Wow, it�s been 3 months since I last wrote here. I have no excuse, though my mood has been relatively stable and I�ve been calm. I�m still not well, of course � there is no cure, just an endless...
Wow, it�s been 3 months since I last wrote here. I have no excuse, though my mood has been relatively stable and I�ve been calm. I�m still not well, of course � there is no cure, just an endless swallowing of tablets � but things could be a lot worse. If anything has got worse then it�s my OCD. And what irks me more than OCD is that people have no idea what it entails; what it is.
Just this week, again, a Facebook friend asked me how OCD is � if at all � more than just a hankering for neatness. How can anyone define OCD in a few sentences? It�s importance. It�s an evil, chronic, debilitating disease with no cure and � as far as I�m aware � no treatment. Vicious, that�s what is is.
I�m managing to get to work; and to stay there. I�ve had little more than a week off work sick in the past 12 months, which frankly is something of a miracle. My ex-psychiatrist once told me I had �too strong a work ethic�. Probably true. But if I gave in to bipolar, anxiety or OCD every time one or more of them hit me, I�d be off work constantly.
After starting writing again (another novel) that ground to a � hopefully temporary � halt a few months ago. I�ve been doing research but no actual creative writing. I�m sure it�ll return however. It has to.
I went away for a few days last week, to Tenby, a seaside town with a small harbour, in southwest Wales. I felt almost perfectly well. What was it that made such an effect on me? I wish I knew; maybe exercise, no stress or pressure, warm sunny weather, fresh air and exercise (walking, swimming). Doing things I like to do: writing poetry, taking photos. Sleep.
So that�s where I am at the moment. I still have intrusive suicidal thoughts and rapid mood swings. I�m still taking my meds. I�m still, I don�t mind admitting, very lonely (no relationship of any kind for four years). I�m still carrying on. �Steady� is good. Long live �steady�, eh?
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